22 fastly approaching

It's now April 22nd, my 22nd birthday. I've been waiting for this birthday for 22 yrs, well ever since I realized that I love the number 22. It's my lucky number. Both Brian's and my birthday are on the 22nd (his happens to be in January).

However, I really don't think that the big 22 is going to be as special as I would like it to be. Brian is gone, I don't get to be with him on my special day. The one person I really want to be with on my b-day is him, and he's in Louisiana on a job, because no one else at work had the balls to go.

I know its not a big deal in the realm of one birthday that he's missing. I mean he wasn't here to celebrate the first 16, so why is it such a big deal to me? I honestly don't have an answer. Maybe its because he is the one person in the world, besides my family, that ever really remembers? Lately my "friends" have been very forgetful of my b-day. Only very few remember and call me, but most of them probably remember because they see it on facebook or myspace. One in particular forgets every year, and I get so mad for no reason. We haven't seen each other in a year so why does it matter? I think its cuz I knew her and was by her side for 6 years during grade school. So does it surprise me every year that she forgets?....

I've always been very selfish on my b-day. Its just a part of who I am. Is it so wrong to want all of the attention on me for one day? Well I'm not sure.

Its just another day in my book. I will get excessive calls from family, some who care and most that don't. I will be spending it with my mom! Which I'm glad I have my parents to be so supportive of everything I do. I know that they can tell me each year how special I am. I just want the one person that says, "Wow, I'm so glad you were born," to be with me.

I'm bummed, and my mood will most likely not change until this b-day stuff is over, and until I get to see him again. It may be an extra week, so I'm counting on 2 more til he comes home. I'm glad he's making money, but I want him here, right now, in my arms, to celebrate my day.

Well since I'm getting more and more upset, I will head out.
God Bless *@*

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